Right by my side.

An ode to Georgia.
On becoming a big sister….
all of a sudden.
And doing it with all the…
excitement,
love,
trepidation,
intensity,
and care that a big sister should have.

I'll never forget Georgia, that morning, November 11th, when you came downstairs and told me you didn't feel good.  And I gave you a hug and told you I loved you and asked you what didn't feel good and you just said….you felt hot.  And you did. You had a fever.  So we took care of that and then told you…..

we were going to meet a baby that morning, daddy and I, that hopefully we'd get to bring home to be your little brother. And you got tears in your perfect eyes and then you shrieked and laughed.  Because that's what you do, even when you are horribly sick (and now we know that you were) you push through and love life--every single drop of it, always.  And you said you were so excited and that finally, finally, finally you would get to be a big sister.

It was so fast.  We didn't even know our last night as a family of three was our last night.  We didn't get to prepare you, talk about what that change would look like, how life would feel different, what a brand new baby really meant, and how amazing you were going to be at all of it even when it felt hard.  And I cried about that.  I was worried about it and felt guilty and missed you and we hadn't even left yet.

And then we did, and you got sicker, and sicker.  And I just wanted to be home with you and introduce you to your new little brother…and just be with you…..because being with you makes me feel like me.  But we couldn't leave the hospital with him yet and it felt like a lifetime away from you as you headed to the hospital yourself.  And I knew you were safe and you were with people who loved you so much and you'd be okay….but……

just…..but.

And finally…..when we got home….you showed us….how you were meant to be Crosby's big sister…..a little brother born just for you.

You take it so personally when you can't get him to stop crying.
Probably, because normally, the minute he sees your face he flashes one of his famous little lazy smiles.
His first laugh was for you.  Naturally.
He is amazed by your energy (as we all are) and you can mesmerize him for a 1/2 hour as you dance and shake all of his rattles.
You can't get close enough to him.
You told me once that you love him so much it makes you want to cry.
And then right after that you told me it wasn't fair that he got to go to bed later than you.
You beg for him to be able to have a sleepover in your room.
You tell him you can't wait until he'll wrestle with you.
You are dying to give him his first bite of rice cereal next month--I think you're more excited about it than your birthday.

And the list just goes on.
You're doing an amazing job G. It was a whirlwind ride for us all back in November…..and you are just awesome at your new big sister job.  It makes me love you more everyday…..and I just didn't know that was possible.

You are right by my side all the time.  Helping, making me laugh, hugging me, you've even wiped a tear off my face a time or two when I was just so tired, and telling me just what I need to hear most of the time.  You're an amazing almost-six year old……just amazing!

And I don't think it's any coincidence that you loved this song all summer….and now….it makes so much sense.  And we've played it so much since November, even Crosby gives a little smile when he hears it.  It's your song--yours and the Cat Man's!  Love you G!