What I've learned in 35 years.

I turned 35 yesterday.  That's right, 35.  I will be 27 in my head forever.  That's the age I'm determined to feel as long as I live.  I don't know why--but it is.

So.......in 35 years I've learned......

1.  I'm not athletic.  I can downward dog it, I can warrior pose it.....I can't rebound it, bump it, or 9 minute mile it.  And I'm okay with that.....now.  It was a real downer in middle school when I went to a small private school and there pretty much wasn't anybody who couldn't do a sweet lay-up (at least, that was the way I saw it).

2.  I'm not a partier.  I would rather go to a movie and the Melting Pot on a Friday night, hang out with a bunch of friends in a living room at a gathering where it's appropriate to sit on the floor, or watch House Hunters in my pajamas than just about anything else.  I don't like feeling tired, I don't like screaming in a crowded bar, I don't like trying sips of everyone's drink because they're sure "this is the one I'll like," and I can't stand trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do with my purse while I'm standing around and basically........standing on someone.  It's taken me a while to be okay with that (even though I've never liked it).....but I totally am.

3.  I'm impatient.  To a fault.

4.  I'm a worrier.  A huge one.  And it's ridiculous.

5.  I should never have quit taking piano lessons.  My mom was right.

6.  If I could change one thing about myself, physically, it'd be my skin.  I'm wondering when I'll stop breaking out.  Maybe 40?  Something to look forward to I suppose.

7.  I'm insecure and always think I'm not smart enough.  It's the lie I believe most about myself and the one that, rightly so, frustrates my husband more than any other insecurities I might express.

8.  It's okay to be dependent on someone else.  It's easy to believe (for a time) you can do it all alone and that you don't need a safety net.  That's simply not true and the sooner we realize that we absolutely and truly need other people and a strong community the more content we'll be.

9.  The only people that can't replace me are the ones in my family.  Work is great.  Being good at work is fantastic and important.  Career goals are necessary.  But if (and when) you have to change positions, make a hard life-transition, or just.......move on.........no one will really care after a week or so.  There will be someone else in line who can probably do just as good a job as you did.  I don't say that to be harsh--it's just.......the truth.  But the ones who can't replace me............and don't have someone in mind that can take my spot if need be..........

my family.  And I embrace that.  I don't think it's setting feminism back twenty years, I don't think it's wasting my degrees, and I will not regret it.

10.  When you admit you're really wrong about something, even when it's hard to admit,  a lot times you'll reap great rewards because of it.

Hanging out with Georgia's birth-mom, Tarah, last summer.

11.  Taking self-portraits is really addicting.  And so silly. But we all do it.

12.  I need to learn to relax.  No one has taught me this better than Georgia.

13.  I'm too materialistic.

14.  It's okay to be sensitive and to cry with friends.  Really cry.  And walk through horrible things with them that are uncomfortable and terrifying and heart-wrenching.  It helps you put life in perspective.  And realize how much you need the people God puts into your life.

15.  I'm thankful.  Thankful for my husband, my daughter, my parents, my sister, my church, my house, my struggles, my victories, that Jesus loves me, and.......my life.  In 35 years I've learned that I'm only just starting to learn things like I should and that I need to get better at learning things.  I just might be a genius by the time I'm 70.