At midnight.....

I forget about the drama that ensued first thing in the morning about trying to go to the bathroom.

I don't remember that you spilled pulverized corn flakes all over the couch.

I acquire amnesia regarding the incessant begging for "just one more show."

I am blind to the fact that you drug more sticks and leaves into my car when you thought I didn't see you doing it.

I vow to play Rapunzel for as long you want tomorrow......and I'll even say all of the lines I'm supposed to exactly how you want me to.  (Just can't agree to this--it makes me want to gouge my eyes out) Moving on.........

I can't wait until tomorrow because I will laugh when you put chopsticks in your mouth and say, "Look....I'm a walrus," fifty times.

I have a hard time recollecting why it was a problem that you wanted to wear your ratty and unraveling Aurora dress to the grocery store.

I look forward to reading you Lion King--the longest book the library has to offer--because you love it.

I wonder how you will amaze me tomorrow with some crystal clear memory of something that happened to you a year ago.

I miss hearing the sound-track from Tangled, that has become the sound-track of our life.

I pick up one thousand pieces of cut up paper from around your craft table and smile, knowing I'll have get to do it all over again tomorrow.

I find two more hidden clips that you've buried in my hair.

I make sure that your green scissors are right where they are supposed to be so there is no panic in the morning if we can't find them.

I fold fifty pairs of Ariel and Dora underwear and make sure the Ariel ones are on top because they're your favorite.

I check on you in bed for the twentieth time and hold your little smooth hand and kiss it.

I feel lucky that I have the chance at a brand new day with you and the opportunity to love you a little more than I loved you today.  

Love you Georgia---

Your Mama--who should make going to bed before midnight more of a habit.  And who needed to write down all of the things I feel right before I go to bed after a hard day like today.  All those 'hard things' seem to dissolve,  and all I remember is how excited I am to see you in the morning every night.........at midnight.

**********************

And on a total side-note for you.....all of my readers......would you do one quick thing for me?  Would you click on the little brown image at the bottom of my side-bar as a vote for Pink Shoes on Top Mommy Blogs in the Adoption Blogs category?  It's my passion to build a culture of adoption as you know and the more I can get the word out about it, the better!  All you have to do is click the box!  

Thank you, Thank you!

Watch. Please.

A lot of people still express confusion, hesitation, disbelief, and doubt at the relationship that my husband and I, and most importantly Georgia have with her birth-mom and her family. And we get it. We do. It's not how things used to be done, it's not how we've grown up thinking about domestic adoption, it's not how it's really portrayed in movies (don't get me started at the abomination that was Juno).

But it is the most natural thing in the world once you're doing it.  And I believe it's the most natural thing because it's right.  Things like this,  that are right often come easier.  You don't fight a lot of inner turmoil over them, you don't feel wary in the midst of them, you don't second-guess yourself at every turn, and you don't feel any pull in the direction of those who are expressing that maybe you're doing the wrong thing.  Your gut feels at peace with it.  Really at peace.

Open adoption is so good.

This little clip is a deleted scene from a show, "Our America:  Open Adoption," that was produced by Lisa Ling.  It's a clip that my husband and I and Georgia's birth-family could have made.  It's how we feel.  It does open adoption justice and confirms that it is becoming the norm, as it should, with domestic adoptions.

Watch it.  Know that it is exactly how I feel.  It is how Georgia's birth mom and family feel; we've had these discussions with them.  If you are on the fence about domestic adoption because this scares you I understand that; I used to be there.  But what is waiting for you if you push through is one of the richest relationships you'll ever be privy to and it will take your breath away at how truly magical it is.

I am thankful everyday for the way that open adoption has changed me forever.  I wouldn't be me without it.

That time that Tim Allen was right...........

We just got back from vacation near Traverse City, Michigan.  It was our fifth year renting a place with my parents and we found some absolutely incredible, out of a "Pure Michigan" radio spot places to play on this year.  Tim Allen and his sultry voice were just down the beach from us, I'm almost sure of it.

We stumbled upon this near secluded beach of Lake Michigan fabulousness in Good Harbor.  Please notice that Georgia is wearing pants here.........

.....and here.....

.....and here.....

.....but not here.  You see, when my mom gets involved in anything having to do with Lake Michigan she believes you need to fully experience all parts of it.  If it means running free and pantless on the beach.....so be it.

And Georgia really couldn't agree with this Lake Michigan philosophy more.

Her shrieks and squeals of delight at this wardrobe change were awesome.  And they almost convinced me to let her run totally naked, but it was a little cold that day--although I don't think she would have noticed if had been thirty degrees she was having so much fun.

I think she's raising her hands in thanksgiving here that she's half undressed rolling around in sand in what were sure the perfect makings of a visual "Pure Michigan" commercial. 

Pyramid Point in Good Harbor, Michigan.  One of the best "off the beaten path" finds I've ever been privy to. 

A lot of people believe that there is nothing better than the ocean.  And oceans are amazing, I can't deny that.  But when you're standing up here on top of Lake Michigan it's hard to remember why the Great Lakes aren't just as amazing.  And an added bonus--when you're swimming in them--you won't get a mouth full of warm salt water.

We did lots of other great things too back at the cottage we rent.......boat rides, walks in the woods, catching minnows, a little hair styling........

And of course a lot of "putting up shows."  Georgia used the end of the dock as her own personal off-off Broadway stage and I'd catch her out there all dressed up like Rapunzel singing "Mother Knows Best" to the lake.

Vacations are the best.  And the good part about them ending is that it makes you reflect on how perfect it is to spend a week doing nothing but just hanging out with your family.

I'm so thankful to have mine.

Raising Humans.

I have the incredible privilege to be guest-posting today over at Raising Humans.  I first "met" Tricia back last fall when she found my blog through another web-site we both frequented.  Tricia was the first follower of my blog that I'd never met in person and she has been so encouraging ever since.  When she asked me to guest post on her fantastic site about personal growth I jumped at the chance.

So, if you have a minute, hop on over and check out what I have to say about something in my life that has made me grow and experience stretching in ways that I never really anticipated or invited at the time.

And if you're stopping over as a regular reader of Raising Humans, welcome!  It's great to have new readers and meet new people.  A few of my favorite posts from the last year if you'd like to catch up on what makes me tick...........

Public Enemy #1
Drying my hair in the dining room. 
Birth-Mother's Day
Old Friends
Adoptive Moms Wish

And there's lots more buried in here as well!  Stay awhile if you'd like.

In other news........I'm still up north working on my tan and keeping up on my running.  We went over to Sleeping Bear Dunes near Glen Arbor, Michigan a few nights ago and were astounded by how incredible it really is.  Ridiculously--this is the first time in my life I've ever seen them and I've lived in Michigan and vacationed up north my whole life.  Crazy I tell you.  Crazy.

So.....word to the wise.....get yourself there if you're within a 200 mile radius.  It's pretty spectacular!

My sister Ellen, and her boyfriend Jim, at a Lake Michigan overlook.  I'm not going to lie--this was a tad scary. 

My sister, my mom, Georgia, and I......all the girls on the dunes. 

Back soon! Have a great day!

About to be M.I.A......

I'm headed up to the Great North tomorrow--and by that I mean Traverse City, Michigan.  My week will be spent laying in the sun, eating, shopping, playing in the lake, eating, trips to historic Leland (go--if you're ever in up north Michigan), eating, huffing it up Sleeping Bear Dunes, rabid games of Dutch Blitz (never heard of it?  check it out), eating, walks to little general stores for ice-cream, fishing, eating, and some more eating.  I'm hoping to put on about ten pounds.

Oh.....but I'll also be bringing my running shoes!  No worries--I won't fall off that band wagon.

So, I'll catch back up with everyone when I get back in a week.  I'll be guest posting however on Thursday over at Raising Humans so you can check me out over there if you'd like!

Have a great week.

I'm out.

P.S.

Here's two of my favorite pictures from this week too--Georgia agreed to model some clothes for a Mom Colored Glasses post and she was a trooper.  It was raining, she was cold, and she was a three year old trying her hardest to hold this umbrella in gusting wind.  She just kept saying, "I'm trying really hard to be a good model mommy.  I promise."  It about broke my heart.  So we came inside and ate cookies.

Couch {er....Coma} to 5k.

About a month ago my friend Amber posted this on her blog.  It looked awesome.  Like the most.  And then I found out there was a Color Run in my very own city of Grand Rapids, Michigan--but I'd missed the deadline to register......and let's be honest......I'd have a difficult time running a 5k at this point even if the prize for..........just finishing in under twenty-four hours.......was an all expense paid trip to Puerto Vallarta.

And that's stupid.  I should be able to run a 5k.  I'm 34.  Healthy (ish). And it's just all around a good thing to be able to do.

I'd been saving the "Couch to 5K" schedule on my desktop for a while and just kept staring at it.  But I always forgot about it come the next Monday (the only day to actually start things right?) or so I told myself.  And my anal mind just couldn't come to grips with starting something on a random Thursday night.  I mean.......that just feels.......messy.

But I read Amber's post on a Thursday and I decided........I was taking this bull by the horns and I was starting that night.  Thursday, July 12th.

And I did.
I snapped this picture (I don't even know why I own running shoes--I guess it's the American thing to do) before I started off.  And how appropriate that I stood in a pile of pink sand from Georgia's sandbox while using the Color Run as my inspiration to get off the couch and run.  Or, more appropriate for me.....out of my coma.

That's right.  I run in big dangly earrings.  It'll be my trademark or something.  They'll call me the......earring runner.  Whatever.

I started this post the day after I started the program--as a way to keep myself accountable.  Here I am.....on a random Saturday......

.....running at night....so no one can see me awkwardly dying jogging through the neighborhood......

And I've kept at it.  I'm 1/2 way through the schedule.  And when I complete it--I've pretty much decided that these babies will be a reward to myself--because they're awesome.

.....running with a cold.....and every time my feet pounded the pavement it was like someone was hitting me in the head with a mallet.....

.......running to Kylie who is my running friend......although I've decided a great track to run to would be the sound of someone chasing you through a parking garage at night.....that'd get you going right?

And the ultimate high-five......my husband stood out on the driveway last night while I ran by him willing myself to keep going and clapped for me and then told me when I came back in that I actually looked like a runner.  A real runner who runs for exercise......not just someone huffing through neighborhood streets in a sad, sad way.

I'm headed up north for vacation next week and I'm thankful that I'll have some die hard runners up there with me to get me through some big hurdles in the program.  The amount of running I have to jump up to next week feels a little daunting.....but then again.......three weeks ago four minutes felt like that.......and now......four minutes feels like nothing.  And that.....is a great feeling.

If you're interested in doing the couch to 5k program yourself the schedule is right here.........

So thank-you Amber for getting me off the couch......and you did it all the way from the Philly color run without even knowing it!  (And P.S.......when you click over to Amber's blog check out her posts about the amazing open adoption she has with her son's birth-mother........it's all kinds of fantastic!)

You know how Olympians are really motivated......?

That's nice for them.  It really is.  Because without their maniacal motivation I would probably have had a more productive week myself.  Instead though,  I've been planting myself on the couch every night starting at eight and not leaving until after midnight and I've even watched rowing and equestrian trials during the day.  Say what?

I just have this inner voice that tells me I should be watching.  I'm a sucker for the Olympics--always have been and it's frankly really refreshing to hear people talk about the Olympics instead of politics for a couple of weeks.  I do enjoy politics--it's so important and I think it's crucial that we all know why we're voting for who we're voting for--but it's nice to get a breath of fresh air for a bit too and watch people coming together instead of being ripped apart.  So thank-you Olympic committee for planning the Olympics every four years--the same every four years that we elect a president--it's like a shot of pure oxygen.

So as a result, I have nothing poignant, soul-searching, emotional, Pulitzer prize winning, or even gross to share with you........just the randomness that was this week in between watching the Russian gymnasts not smile.....ever......but they do win the award for best eye makeup......Michael Phelps slap his back and did you notice he has different colored headphones when he comes out before every race?............the incredible nail art that adorns the fingers of every female swimmer............and the track and field heats that don't even seem humanly possible.

Here we go.......random as it gets.........

A walk with G to the creepy park near our house. And I'm not being paranoid.  It's straight up creepy.  She begs to go a couple times a week.  Usually I can put her off and get her interested in something else--this time I relented.

I love these little ankles and their scabs that just scream summer.  She's covered in bruises and remnants of all-out crazy play from fun summer days and nights.......and that's the mark of a good summer I think.

It rained one day this week, (and I don't even remember which day I've been in such an Olympic haze), and G played in the garage for a good hour with all her toys.  It was so peaceful out there with the rain just inches from us coming down in sheets.

She's getting better and better at playing by herself.  I come up on her having conversations, that are seemingly very important, with imaginary friends, and I stay back and listen where she can't see me.  Those little moments are a look into her soul that are hard to come by otherwise.  She talks about what she's afraid of, what makes her happy, how she has a hard time following the 'no-yelling' rule but she tries, and how much she loves macaroni and cheese.  I'll never forget those words that she thinks she's having in private.......they are seared into my mama heart.

I beg for games that mean G is playing with my hair, putting on my makeup, giving me a check-up or in this case taking an X-ray of my teeth.  Something about being picked at has always appealed to me.  I guess I should have been a chimp.

I spent four hours one night this week getting six years of black hair dye stripped out of my head.  And now......it's just really dark brown.  I promise.   I know it all looks like a big ruse, but it's not.  Chris just looked at me in confusion when I got back home at 10:00 Wednesday night--but it's okay--I know it's different, and that's what matters......I suppose.  And now hopefully, Georgia will stop describing my hair color as blueberry.  That always conjured up images of old women with blue hair and polyester Alfred Dunner pants.  

Georgia has recently fallen in love with Tangled and wanted Rapunzel hair.  I whipped this weave up out of yarn and added some left over fake flowers from her second birthday party.  It pretty much hasn't left her head since Wednesday.  

Case in point.   She's mowing the lawn in it below with Chris. 

And pretending to take a nap......believe me it's there......

Hope you're having a great weekend.  I gotta get back to these Olympics.